Why adults have extramarital affairs?
Chat about a loaded theme that no one wants to talk about, that’s it. Amusing thing, extramarital affairs have been going on ever since the beginning of the world. Affairs can be filled with evils, cause sorrow, and other problems. Also you have to wrap your brain around all the other issues, there’s that truth and frankness thing, funds, age difference, religious background, shame, and on and on. I suppose there will be some strong opinions about some of this.
For the purpose of this post I will define an affair as a long term, maybe months long relationship of a sexual nature between two individuals of whom one or both are married to other persons, date married.
Why do people have affairs? There are as many answers as there are seek affairs. I am conserned mostly though it is only the human condition, the need for affection, belonging, to be wanted and cared for, the caring for others and wanting to be loved and respected. Here are a few reasons I have run across.
Biologically we as humans are all sexual creatures. Nature has us set up to reproduce, to have sex. Sex is pleasant and fun, and sex makes us escape the world for a short period of time. This excitement exists for whatever amount of time we are able to keep the adrenalin levels high enough. Some people are able to turn the craving on and off, some are good at controlling it and others are so-so at best. But we all have it, young and elder, able bodied and not so able. It is the Human condition. For some of us it is the sex act itself that drives us. For some of us it is the excitement of the pursue. For some of us it is the seduction, for some it is the caring for another person, for some it is the longing to be appreciatedloved, for some it is the whole romance thing. These needs and yearnings can be so strong they prevail over the taboos humanity has erected against extramarital affairs. For many people the yearnings will overcome their fears and make them risk the rage of not only their family, but society also. So why, what is the mechanism?
Sex Addicts, probably some of us are. Sex is extremely pleasant, better then drugs, a natural high. If you are in this group of biologically obsessed sex addicts and can find away to have sex and not injure your family or anybody else? You would need to lessen the threat you are taking. If you have the attitude that a good affair is one that is beneficial to all, then good luck.
No love at home, or no romance. I think this is the biggest cluster, huge truly. There are many couples whose marriage is over, except they are comfy in the way they live, and upsetting the extended families is not on their list of things they wish to do. You love your spouse but there is no romance. Also there are the children to consider. Your assets are so knotted. You need the medical insurance, and so on. There are a lot of reasons to live jointly besides love and sex.
Physical reasons, there are some people who can not have sex. They have physical circumstances that prevent them completing the sex performance, at least not with their spouse. An extramarital affair at times solves the difficulty while keeping the marriage intact.
Avoidance, sadly this is a regular groung I fear. One or the other, usually the guy is sexually neglecting his wife for a number of reasons. As a man I truly am grateful to you guys neglecting your wives and making them obtainable to us guys of romance, making them “milf wives” Though I still think it is despicable that you are neglectful. Then there is the spouse who is neglectful until the wife or husband has an affair, then they condemn them for doing so, when they where the catalyst. Those who neglect, then condemn, are not only neglectful, but malevolent.
Something is just misplaced in the marriage, I can not put my finger on it, but its not there. Probably its romance that is missing, could be it is a lack of love, maybe caring is disappeared, could be it is the intimacy, could be neglect. Maybe we have simply developed apart, our relulas interests diverged. Could be it is that what I want, and what I want to do the rest of my life, is contradictory of what you want. Could be I just do not know what I want from the marriage anymore. Maybe, just maybe I miss that sensation that when I am with you, it just feels right.
The major reason people give is, they look for the passion that is missing and so very much longed for.
There are other reasons, the feeling of power, to run off, for economic gain, for revenge and so on. I am sure there are more reasons why people have affairs then these. I only stop because if this gets too long no one will read it.